John Fredericks NFL Picks: Titans Have to Prove They Are Not a Farce; Chiefs Against the Ropes

by John Fredericks, Jack Fredericks and Nate Perry

 

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If you bet NFL football week in and week out, you understand why Vegas has billion-dollar hotels on the Strip. It’s a grind and the book always wins. So far this season we are 25-22 ATS, going 6-6 last week. Every week into the season gets a little easier, as teams are settling in. We have some surprises, and a lot of close games. Week five will be no different. I’m three games over .500 going into week five, and I’m looking for that break out week to blow away the field. This is it. I’ll go up big. I might run the table!

New York Jets at Atlanta Falcons (-3.5)

I bet the ACS (Atlanta Clown Show) last week and got burned in the final :30. My wife Anne looked at the pick and said I’m too stupid to have a job. This Falcons team is a total circus act, and I’m done. This is not a revenge bet, they are just pathetic. The Jets won a game the Titans gave away like classic underachievers do. But they actually have some confidence and something to play for. Atlanta just wants to get this over with and play golf and watch the Braves. Even the Hawks exhibition game is a better choice. Ok, if Atlanta had an NHL team, that’s a better bet, too.

This game will take place in London, and the ACS is wondering when this season ends. After a 10-hour flight, where’s the cocktails? The NFL figures if Londoners will come out to watch this stinkfest, why not invest in a team there? They must be really desperate to get away from Cricket, tea and Boris Johnson. Jets plus three and half? Done. Pick: J-E-T-S +3.5.

Detroit Lions at Minnesota Vikings (-8)

Poor Lions. So sad, they are really pathetic. But at least they are now recognizing they are in a first-round draft pick sweepstakes. I’m betting them on Thanksgiving Day, like I have for the last 45 years in a row. But it’s not even Halloween. So no. The Bears have a future hall of fame quarterback with no pressure this week. It bodes well. The Vikings lost a must win game last week at home to the Browns, and it was ugly. UGLY. But this week they prevail, big. I’ve lost 147 straight games betting on or against Minnesota, so it’s time to man-up and break the streak. Pick: Vikes -8

New Orleans Saints (-1) at Washington Football Team

I believe in the Saints. I don’t believe in the Saints. I believe in the Saints, yes I do. Who the hell knows? I have lost all four Saints games. I bet on them, they puke up the place. I bet against them, they look like the Bart Starr led Packers of the late ‘60’s. I don’t believe in the Washington Football Club. They beat the ASC (Atlanta Clown Show) and the Giants. Wow.

The Washington defense is an absolute disaster, but the Saints’ offense is so hit-or-miss it might not matter. Saints win every other week—this is the other week. Pick: Saints -1

New England Patriots (-9.5) at Houston Texans

OMG, what is this? Billy B blows a field goal to win a game in a huge upset and now travels to the Southwest Conference. Oh, the Southwest Conference no longer exists, sorry. It’s the Houston Texans, fresh off their 40-0 shellacking at the hands of the Bills. LOL. Do you really think Billy B turns around and loses to this hapless bunch? He needs to blow somebody out, just for old times sake. Here it is. The Texans are a complete disaster, and it would be stunning if Davis Mills produces an upset against his fellow rookie QB. This game might finally get the Patriots’ offense rolling, and Mack Jones looks better every week. The Texans are a calamity. Pick: Pats -9.5

Miami Dolphins at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-10.5)

The Fish are not what you think they are. They suck, basically, slimy as they are, pooping up a loser at home last week against a sorry banged-up Colts squad. Their smoke and mirrors defense makes a joke of the season – making Carson Wentz look like Darryl Lamonica. In the famous words of Bill Parcells: You are what your record says you are. Lay the points, it’s a blowout. Frankly, I’d lay 21. Pick: Bucs -10.5

Green Bay Packers (-3.5) at Cincinnati Bengals

This is a better game than you think it is. Everybody is all over the PACK here, and on the surface it’s a trap-like game. But here’s the deal: The PACK IS BACK and they are for real. I like Joey B and the Bungles are a sneaky pick here at home. But Rodgers is on a roll. Never bet against Aaron when he’s rolling. The Bungles have beaten lousy teams. Rodgers schools the youngster. Pick: Pack is back -3.5

Denver Broncos at Pittsburgh Steelers (-1.5)

Ok, Big Ben’s mobility can barely cover a postage stamp. The Steelers are a fading team that desperately needs a win at home or the fat lady makes an appearance. Denver is winning and happy, but it’s like an ice cream high – they beat nobody. Do you want to face Pittsburgh at home in game five when a loss to a second-tier team delegates them to Urban Myer status? I thought not. The Broncs beat nobody. Ben’s last hurrah. Pick: Postage Stamp Steelers -1.5

Philadelphia Eagles at Carolina Panthers (-3.5)

This is my best bet. This Panthers team is for real, and the Eagles are flying wounded birds. Forget last week, Dallas is an elite team and the Cats were banged up.

Even without McCaffrey, the Panthers should be able to move the ball with ease. Philly is porous on defense. The Phillies suck, the 76er’s are collapsing again and their only hope is the NHL. Bring out the hockey sticks. Eagles get pasted. Pick: Cats -3.5

Tennessee Titans (-4.5) at Jacksonville Jaguars

Do I really have to endure this column? Look, I know last week’s Jets fiasco was humiliating. When they tied it at :0:00, Vrabel should have gone for two. Whatever, the Titans are one loss from being the NFL laughing stock of 2021. Are they really that bad? No. This is a statement game. And a best bet. Titans in a blow-out to gain back some respect. Note to Urban Myer: after games, go home, dude. Pick: Titans -4.5

Cleveland Browns (-1) at Los Angeles Chargers

It’s time. To bet the Chargers. All they do is win games. The Brownies are fierce, but going to the Left Coast after an emotional win in Minneapolis has let down all over it. The Browns are playing for a division championship and home field only after four weeks. The Chargers are playing for respect at home. This is a statement game. I love the Bolts in this spot! Pick: Bolts +1

Chicago Bears at Las Vegas Raiders (-5.5)

This is a one-line pick: Da Bears are terrible. Vegas is super bowl contender. Pick: Vegas -5.5

San Francisco 49ers at Arizona Cardinals (-5.5)

If you like Trump rallies, bet the Crazy Cardinals! It’s the same thing: fire and brimstone and people can’t get enough. Cards games are like Trump rallies: you never know what to expect, they are fun and free-wheeling. And we all know Trump won.Plus Steve Bannon defied the subpoena and he love the Cards in this game. Pick: Crazies -5.5.

New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys (-7.5)

Turn out the lights, the party’s over! The Giants are a joke with no punch line, the ‘Boys are for real. Keep betting the hot teams until they lose. Bet-Bet-Bet the hot teams. Pick: ‘Boys -7.5

Buffalo Bills at Kansas City Chiefs (-2.5)

We can spin this all we want. Somebody other than Pittsburgh in game one has to beat Buffalo. Do you really want to bet against the Chiefs in Arrowhead when their backs are against the wall? This is the type of game my dad Sam taught me that you watch, not bet. “If you have to bet games like this to enjoy it, go to gamblers anonymous,” he said. “It means you are a degenerate low-life.” I’ll follow Sam, enjoy the game. No Pick.

Indianapolis Colts at Baltimore Ravens (-7)

“The Colts beat the Dolphins! Carson Wentz was spectacular! The Colts are back!” Says the fake news media. This team is going nowhere. The Ravens are focused now on winning their AFC North. Browns are threatening their chance to make the playoffs. Colts will be playing golf. Pick: Ravens -7

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Image “Tennessee Titans” by the Tennessee Titans CC3.0

 

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